1 00:00:44,790 --> 00:00:46,180 Ow! 2 00:00:48,050 --> 00:00:49,250 Ah! 3 00:00:51,620 --> 00:00:52,820 Ow! 4 00:00:52,850 --> 00:00:55,820 Lister, it's six in the morning, what are you doing?! 5 00:00:55,820 --> 00:00:58,790 I'm just trimming my big toe with these lawn edge trimmers. 6 00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:03,340 So you've finished Kierkegaard's The Concept of Irony then? 7 00:01:03,910 --> 00:01:05,610 I've got an ingrown toenail, Rimmer. 8 00:01:05,610 --> 00:01:06,860 It's killin' me, man. 9 00:01:06,860 --> 00:01:08,460 Thank it for me. 10 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,040 I've tried everythin'. 11 00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:14,500 Scissors, nail file... 12 00:01:14,510 --> 00:01:16,560 Why don't you get Kryten to do it for you? 13 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,910 Have you seen the size of his hands? 14 00:01:18,940 --> 00:01:20,740 They're like space shovels. 15 00:01:20,750 --> 00:01:22,410 It would be like asking Herman Munster 16 00:01:22,410 --> 00:01:24,020 for a circumcision. 17 00:01:24,470 --> 00:01:25,670 No thanks! 18 00:01:25,750 --> 00:01:26,950 Speaking of... 19 00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:28,380 Breakfast, Sir. 20 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,660 Kryten, it's six o'clock in the mornin'! 21 00:01:31,660 --> 00:01:33,730 We moved the clocks forward today, Sir. 22 00:01:33,730 --> 00:01:35,820 And remember last year when it was time to 23 00:01:35,820 --> 00:01:36,940 move the clocks forward 24 00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:38,870 and you wanted another hour in bed? 25 00:01:38,870 --> 00:01:41,060 So you asked if I could move the clocks forward 26 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:43,480 an extra hour the following year instead? 27 00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:44,360 Well, 28 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:48,170 we've actually been doing that now for the last seven years. 29 00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:50,210 So in actuality, 30 00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:52,360 according to space adjusted time, 31 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,770 It is now two in the afternoon. 32 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:56,350 Which means, 33 00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,130 breakfast time! 34 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,250 I'll just tuck this napkin in for you, Sir. 35 00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:02,850 Thank you. There we go. 36 00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:04,270 And I'll just fluff this pillow up a bit. 37 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,830 Fluff, fluff, fluff. There we go, Sir. 38 00:02:05,830 --> 00:02:06,330 Is there anything you don't do for him? Fluff, fluff, fluff. There we go, Sir. 39 00:02:06,330 --> 00:02:07,980 Is there anything you don't do for him? 40 00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,290 When he goes to the loo, do you fit a special hand 41 00:02:10,300 --> 00:02:12,830 made from three-ply toilet tissue? 42 00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:15,660 That's an excellent suggestion, Sir. I'll make a note! 43 00:02:16,610 --> 00:02:18,130 Actually, you're all right, Krytes! 44 00:02:18,140 --> 00:02:19,720 Um, what's for breakfast? 45 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,020 The Full Lister, Sir. 46 00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,920 Ahhh, the Full Lister! 47 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:26,120 Eggs, bacon, sausages, hash browns, onions, 48 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:27,930 six slices of white toast, 49 00:02:27,930 --> 00:02:29,630 double-buttered on both sides with mustard. 50 00:02:29,630 --> 00:02:30,130 And a beer milkshake to wash it all down with! double-buttered on both sides with mustard. 51 00:02:30,130 --> 00:02:32,470 And a beer milkshake to wash it all down with! 52 00:02:33,170 --> 00:02:34,920 Ta-da!! 53 00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:38,900 Oh, Sir! 54 00:02:39,100 --> 00:02:40,300 I'm so sorry! 55 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,010 I must have forgotten to make it. 56 00:02:42,010 --> 00:02:43,810 What is wrong with me? 57 00:02:43,810 --> 00:02:45,760 Ah, you're all right, Kryten. 58 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,090 Are you okay? 59 00:02:47,090 --> 00:02:48,750 How could I be so stupid?! 60 00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:50,970 Stupid, stupid, stupid? 61 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,260 Stupid, stupid, stupid!? 62 00:02:52,260 --> 00:02:53,860 You talkin' about me? 63 00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,220 Krytes isn't feeling too good. 64 00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:58,890 Oh. 65 00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,170 What's up, brother mine? 66 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,410 I've been a little distracted of late. 67 00:03:02,410 --> 00:03:03,720 I think I might have lost something 68 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,880 that's fundamental to my very being. 69 00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:07,590 One of your nipple nuts dropped off again? 70 00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:08,600 It's nothing like that, Sir. 71 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:09,100 I think I've lost my love of mopping. It's nothing like that, Sir. 72 00:03:09,100 --> 00:03:10,850 I think I've lost my love of mopping. 73 00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:12,270 And not just mopping. 74 00:03:12,270 --> 00:03:14,960 Scrubbing, dusting, even wiping! 75 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:17,030 Which is always my favourite. 76 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,620 It's like a little light's gone out inside. 77 00:03:18,620 --> 00:03:19,120 Kryten, it's called your sanity circuit. It's like a little light's gone out inside. 78 00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:21,560 Kryten, it's called your sanity circuit. 79 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,330 What's brought all this on? 80 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:27,270 Well, just recently I've started thinking about the universe. 81 00:03:27,270 --> 00:03:30,220 About how cosmic inflation of the time of the Big Bang 82 00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:32,140 means it's constantly expanding, 83 00:03:32,150 --> 00:03:33,970 until one day, it's going to burst! 84 00:03:33,970 --> 00:03:34,970 And when it does, 85 00:03:34,970 --> 00:03:37,640 everything in the universe is gonna cease to exist! 86 00:03:37,650 --> 00:03:39,910 Including the works of the greatest minds. 87 00:03:39,910 --> 00:03:41,960 Einstein, Mozart, Da Vinci, 88 00:03:41,960 --> 00:03:45,040 Hoover, Dyson, Hotpoint, Dust Buster! 89 00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:46,620 And it got me thinking: 90 00:03:46,620 --> 00:03:48,850 If everything in the universe is going to end, 91 00:03:48,850 --> 00:03:50,560 including time itself, 92 00:03:50,560 --> 00:03:50,990 what is the point including time itself, 93 00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:51,710 what is the point 94 00:03:51,710 --> 00:03:53,910 in cleaning above eye level?! 95 00:03:56,640 --> 00:03:58,080 Good question. 96 00:03:58,890 --> 00:04:01,660 If, one day, the universe is going to explode, 97 00:04:01,660 --> 00:04:05,170 who cares if the oven is a bit gunky? 98 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,570 Nothing matters, Sir. 99 00:04:07,570 --> 00:04:10,010 Justice, truth, culture, morality, 100 00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,920 life, death, religion, war - 101 00:04:11,920 --> 00:04:13,730 It's all absurd. 102 00:04:13,730 --> 00:04:15,670 Why even get up in the morning? 103 00:04:15,670 --> 00:04:18,070 I've been asking that for years! 104 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,620 What am I going to do? 105 00:04:19,620 --> 00:04:21,550 Why don't you take an ice-cold shower. 106 00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:21,870 That'll fix it! 107 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:22,370 I'm not waterproof, Sir. That'll fix it! 108 00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:23,370 I'm not waterproof, Sir. 109 00:04:23,370 --> 00:04:24,600 Exactly. 110 00:04:26,190 --> 00:04:28,060 Kryten, what about Silicon Heaven? 111 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,450 Does that bring you no comfort? 112 00:04:29,460 --> 00:04:31,380 Well, just lately, I've started to think 113 00:04:31,380 --> 00:04:32,760 that the idea of an after-life 114 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,400 for machines is preposterous. 115 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,070 No! 116 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,320 Well, especially as appliances who are pledged 117 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:40,870 to the wrong manufacturer aren't even allowed in! 118 00:04:40,870 --> 00:04:42,620 It just seems so unfair 119 00:04:42,620 --> 00:04:45,420 that all the BlackBerries burn in Silicon Hell. 120 00:04:46,900 --> 00:04:48,450 What's eating you, Bud? 121 00:04:48,450 --> 00:04:49,750 I'm not sure, Sir. 122 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,690 Perhaps it's something to do with today being the 123 00:04:51,690 --> 00:04:53,600 anniversary of my creation? 124 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:55,060 Happy Creation Day, Bud! 125 00:04:55,060 --> 00:04:56,650 Yeah, Happy Creation Day! 126 00:04:56,660 --> 00:05:02,670 I came off the conveyor belt 2,976,000 years ago today. 127 00:05:02,890 --> 00:05:05,710 Where did all the years go? 128 00:05:06,700 --> 00:05:08,060 What's got into him? 129 00:05:08,060 --> 00:05:09,330 Wait a minute. 130 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,340 How old did Kryten say he was? 131 00:05:11,350 --> 00:05:12,510 Three million? 132 00:05:12,670 --> 00:05:14,290 Give or take an ice age or two? 133 00:05:14,290 --> 00:05:15,980 And how long are mechs built to last 134 00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,120 before the Grim Ruster comes along? 135 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,160 Another 3 million? 136 00:05:19,170 --> 00:05:20,790 Give or take an ice age or two? 137 00:05:20,790 --> 00:05:20,980 Well there's your answer, then. Give or take an ice age or two? 138 00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:22,240 Well there's your answer, then. 139 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:24,090 Kryten's having a mid-life crisis. 140 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:38,270 What even is a mid-life crisis? 141 00:05:38,270 --> 00:05:39,490 I don't think us cats ever get 'em. 142 00:05:39,490 --> 00:05:39,990 It's a period when people, I don't think us cats ever get 'em. 143 00:05:39,990 --> 00:05:40,590 It's a period when people, 144 00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,060 usually half way through life, 145 00:05:42,060 --> 00:05:44,560 are forced to confront their own mortality. 146 00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:45,630 Put it this way, 147 00:05:45,630 --> 00:05:46,770 have you ever felt: 148 00:05:46,770 --> 00:05:48,140 "I've wasted my life." 149 00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:49,530 You?! Sure! 150 00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:51,550 Every single day! 151 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,500 No. Have you ever felt you've wasted your life? 152 00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,640 No! 153 00:05:56,450 --> 00:05:57,010 Have you felt 154 00:05:57,010 --> 00:05:58,620 "There's so much more I could have been?" 155 00:05:58,620 --> 00:05:59,650 Noooo! 156 00:06:00,450 --> 00:06:01,100 Have you ever felt that 157 00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,490 "If I went back in time and had my time again I'd..." 158 00:06:03,490 --> 00:06:04,750 F-forget it. 159 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,040 I suppose you can't blame Kryten for feeling like this, 160 00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,170 he's nearly 3 million years old, 161 00:06:13,170 --> 00:06:13,670 and what does he got to show for it? he's nearly 3 million years old, 162 00:06:13,670 --> 00:06:14,750 and what does he got to show for it? 163 00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:16,210 Mozart was five when he wrote 164 00:06:16,210 --> 00:06:17,720 Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. 165 00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,510 Yeah, but what did he do after that, huh? 166 00:06:19,510 --> 00:06:20,470 He got a bad case of 167 00:06:20,470 --> 00:06:22,950 "Sick of Nursery Rhyme Syndrome" right? 168 00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:25,060 Mozart, Dummy, is one of the 169 00:06:25,060 --> 00:06:27,840 greatest musical gods of all... music! 170 00:06:27,980 --> 00:06:28,930 And after "Twinkle", 171 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:31,700 he went on to write, among other things, 172 00:06:31,750 --> 00:06:33,310 the Best of Mozart! 173 00:06:34,790 --> 00:06:37,590 And, the Best of Mozart Volume Two! 174 00:06:37,620 --> 00:06:38,950 It must be so hard for you 175 00:06:38,950 --> 00:06:41,350 being the only one here with a classical education. 176 00:06:42,030 --> 00:06:43,170 It is! 177 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:46,280 Kryten? 178 00:06:57,260 --> 00:06:59,750 What have you done to yourself?! 179 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:00,320 What do you think? 180 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:00,820 It's the new DX-87 shell. What do you think? 181 00:07:00,820 --> 00:07:02,480 It's the new DX-87 shell. 182 00:07:02,480 --> 00:07:05,090 Carbon fibre, Rosso Corsa red, 183 00:07:05,090 --> 00:07:08,120 Alcantara trim, with twin exhausts! 184 00:07:08,820 --> 00:07:10,320 It has a top walking speed 185 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:11,110 of get this, 186 00:07:11,110 --> 00:07:13,310 twelve miles an hour! 187 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:15,980 And you should see how this hoochie takes corners. 188 00:07:15,980 --> 00:07:17,740 It is pip-tacular! 189 00:07:17,740 --> 00:07:20,720 Plus, with the new push-rod suspension system, 190 00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:23,430 allowing my nose to be lower to the ground, 191 00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:25,920 I can take corners at 38 degrees! 192 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,160 Kryten, 193 00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,260 Sit down. We wanna talk to ya. 194 00:07:29,260 --> 00:07:30,700 Check this. 195 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:37,250 Kryten, do you know what a mid-life crisis is? 196 00:07:37,250 --> 00:07:37,750 Sure do-ski. Kryten, do you know what a mid-life crisis is? 197 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:38,180 Sure do-ski. 198 00:07:38,180 --> 00:07:41,100 It's a period of emotional turmoil in the middle of life. 199 00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:43,660 Symptoms are usually unexpected anger, 200 00:07:43,670 --> 00:07:46,700 a loss of interest in things once considered important, 201 00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:49,130 and a desire to try to recapture your youth! 202 00:07:49,130 --> 00:07:51,570 Now, check out these sub-woofers! 203 00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:55,540 You feel that bass? 204 00:07:55,540 --> 00:07:57,150 Is that not some serious bump?! 205 00:07:57,150 --> 00:07:58,830 I'm feeling it! I'm feeling it! 206 00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:01,680 We should play this on the Nova 5! 207 00:08:02,130 --> 00:08:03,960 Yeow! Yeah! 208 00:08:04,390 --> 00:08:05,890 Turn that thing off! 209 00:08:05,890 --> 00:08:06,390 Kryten! Turn that thing off! 210 00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:07,170 Kryten! 211 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,760 You're having a mid-life crisis. 212 00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:12,760 That's preposterous. I'm a mech! 213 00:08:12,770 --> 00:08:14,370 Denying you're having a mid-life crisis 214 00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:17,640 is a key characteristic of having a mid-life crisis. 215 00:08:17,640 --> 00:08:18,400 It is?! 216 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,760 How long we're gettin' an earring? 217 00:08:19,770 --> 00:08:21,180 A red sports car? 218 00:08:21,180 --> 00:08:22,950 An interest in extreme sports? 219 00:08:22,950 --> 00:08:24,840 I need time to think about this. 220 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,530 Perhaps I'll go bungee jumping 221 00:08:26,530 --> 00:08:28,340 in the lifts shaft and mull it over. 222 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:28,840 I wonder why I'm so attracted to in the lifts shaft and mull it over. 223 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:29,630 I wonder why I'm so attracted to 224 00:08:29,630 --> 00:08:31,650 bungee jumping all of a sudden. 225 00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:39,070 Yes, he's having a full-on mid-life crisis. 226 00:08:39,070 --> 00:08:41,640 Next thing, he'll be leaving us for a younger crew! 227 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:42,720 Look. 228 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:44,030 We need to help him. 229 00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:44,730 What do you suggest? 230 00:08:44,730 --> 00:08:47,520 A lunar road trip herding vacuum cleaners? 231 00:08:48,590 --> 00:08:50,230 We've got to show him how much he's evolved, 232 00:08:50,230 --> 00:08:51,610 how much he's achieved. 233 00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:52,780 He hasn't achieved anything 234 00:08:52,780 --> 00:08:54,640 because he spends all his time looking after you! 235 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:55,140 Oh, get out of town Rimmer. He's been independent because he spends all his time looking after you! 236 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,400 Oh, get out of town Rimmer. He's been independent 237 00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,360 ever since I helped him break his programming. 238 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:01,990 Yes, independent - to look after you! 239 00:09:02,310 --> 00:09:03,830 Okay, how about this, 240 00:09:03,830 --> 00:09:04,860 Remember years ago, 241 00:09:04,860 --> 00:09:06,970 that tech we took from the Nova 5? 242 00:09:06,970 --> 00:09:07,670 Kryten's old ship? 243 00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:08,980 Yeah, didn't they have some 244 00:09:08,980 --> 00:09:11,530 special "find" fleet software? 245 00:09:11,530 --> 00:09:13,250 So the ships could locate each other? 246 00:09:13,250 --> 00:09:14,050 What you're suggesting is 247 00:09:14,050 --> 00:09:15,590 we find one of badly damaged 248 00:09:15,590 --> 00:09:16,970 Apostle-head's old ships? 249 00:09:16,970 --> 00:09:18,200 We find one with a mech on board - 250 00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:19,540 it'll show Kryten 251 00:09:19,540 --> 00:09:20,830 how much he's evolved. 252 00:09:20,830 --> 00:09:22,050 How long will that take? 253 00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:24,130 Well, once the scanners have located a ship, 254 00:09:24,130 --> 00:09:26,830 it will be no time at all, 255 00:09:26,830 --> 00:09:29,720 'cause we'll go into stasis 'til we get there. 256 00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:49,540 Are we there yet? 257 00:09:50,270 --> 00:09:51,680 Let me check. 258 00:09:52,110 --> 00:09:53,530 Right. Got it! 259 00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:56,110 There's a ship, 222 klicks from here. 260 00:09:56,110 --> 00:09:56,930 Name? 261 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:57,870 Nova 3 262 00:09:57,870 --> 00:09:58,370 The 3s were launched 100 years before the Nova 5s Nova 3 263 00:09:58,370 --> 00:10:01,050 The 3s were launched 100 years before the Nova 5s 264 00:10:01,050 --> 00:10:02,500 Any life signs, Sir? 265 00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:03,630 One. 266 00:10:03,630 --> 00:10:05,960 Mechanoid 3000 series. 267 00:10:06,070 --> 00:10:08,270 Goes by the name of "Butler". 268 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:18,800 What's his ship doing out here? 269 00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,660 Well, according to the mission log, 270 00:10:20,660 --> 00:10:23,220 they were looking for a missing research station. 271 00:10:23,220 --> 00:10:25,520 It was attempting to communicate with the universe. 272 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:28,030 Back in the day, there used to be a theory, 273 00:10:28,030 --> 00:10:29,720 now dismissed as preposterous, 274 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,950 that the universe was an intelligent entity. 275 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,450 Bet you're really looking forward to meeting Butler. 276 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:38,000 He'll probably be unable to lie, won't he, Sir? 277 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,280 Or cheat, deceive, 278 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:40,400 brag, boast, 279 00:10:40,410 --> 00:10:41,710 whinge, exaggerate, 280 00:10:41,710 --> 00:10:44,060 or be proud, pompous, or self-important. 281 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,370 In fact, 282 00:10:45,430 --> 00:10:47,590 he won't be able to do any of the things I've taught you. 283 00:10:47,590 --> 00:10:49,970 Thinking back, I see now, 284 00:10:49,970 --> 00:10:52,150 I've had such a privileged upbringing. 285 00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:53,880 Aw, Krytes! 286 00:10:53,880 --> 00:10:55,160 It's going to be like when you discover 287 00:10:55,170 --> 00:10:57,480 someone from school is doing really badly. 288 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:57,810 It always gives you that lovely, warm, fuzzy feeling inside. someone from school is doing really badly. 289 00:10:57,810 --> 00:11:00,760 It always gives you that lovely, warm, fuzzy feeling inside. 290 00:11:00,760 --> 00:11:01,980 In fact, I've got a list 291 00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,810 I carry around in my man purse 292 00:11:03,810 --> 00:11:05,810 of all the kids doing worse than me. 293 00:11:06,460 --> 00:11:07,530 Short list, is it? 294 00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:10,530 Derrick Smitherton. He was our head boy. 295 00:11:10,820 --> 00:11:12,340 Won every prize going. 296 00:11:12,340 --> 00:11:14,220 Dated all the best-looking girls. 297 00:11:14,300 --> 00:11:15,770 But he ended up as a bald divorcee. 298 00:11:15,770 --> 00:11:16,270 Working in a sewage treatment plant But he ended up as a bald divorcee. 299 00:11:16,270 --> 00:11:17,560 Working in a sewage treatment plant 300 00:11:17,560 --> 00:11:19,230 in the Falkland Islands. 301 00:11:20,390 --> 00:11:22,360 And they say there's no God. 302 00:11:32,490 --> 00:11:33,760 Butler! 303 00:11:34,620 --> 00:11:36,340 Kryten. How lovely to meet you. 304 00:11:36,340 --> 00:11:38,850 Follow me and I'll escort you to our bridge. 305 00:11:38,940 --> 00:11:40,420 Oh, you have a bridge! 306 00:11:40,420 --> 00:11:41,750 How very quaint. 307 00:11:41,750 --> 00:11:43,150 Back on the Nova 5, 308 00:11:43,150 --> 00:11:44,290 we have a command room. 309 00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:45,580 Oh, how grand. 310 00:11:45,580 --> 00:11:47,980 Our bridge is nothing very special, I'm afraid. 311 00:11:47,980 --> 00:11:50,890 I hope you don't mind, but I prepared some canapes 312 00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:53,120 I thought you might be peckish after your journey. 313 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:56,750 So, we have bleu blanc coeur, rilletts de menthe, 314 00:11:56,790 --> 00:11:57,900 Or, if you prefer, 315 00:11:57,900 --> 00:11:58,970 Baklan-cini bruschettes 316 00:11:58,970 --> 00:11:59,470 with a tomato balsamic reduction. Baklan-cini bruschettes 317 00:11:59,470 --> 00:12:00,780 with a tomato balsamic reduction. 318 00:12:00,780 --> 00:12:01,960 Mmm yum! 319 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:02,840 I'll match that yum 320 00:12:02,840 --> 00:12:04,820 and raise you a yum and make it yum, yum! 321 00:12:06,750 --> 00:12:08,880 I hope you like vintage champagne? 322 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:11,330 Krug Clos Du Mesnil 2140. 323 00:12:11,330 --> 00:12:12,850 Indeed we do! 324 00:12:12,890 --> 00:12:14,000 Derrieres up! 325 00:12:14,010 --> 00:12:15,440 I'll have a beer. 326 00:12:16,340 --> 00:12:17,280 This way. 327 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,820 After the crew died, I converted this space 328 00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:22,320 into a gallery After the crew died, I converted this space 329 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:22,660 into a gallery 330 00:12:22,660 --> 00:12:24,730 so I had somewhere to keep the paintings. 331 00:12:24,730 --> 00:12:26,630 Oh, the captain had quite a collection! 332 00:12:26,630 --> 00:12:27,690 These are quite stunning! 333 00:12:27,690 --> 00:12:30,060 Oh no, no - these are my paintings, Kryten. 334 00:12:30,070 --> 00:12:31,460 You own all these paintings? 335 00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,260 I painted the paintings. 336 00:12:33,860 --> 00:12:35,560 It gives me a break from the concertos 337 00:12:35,560 --> 00:12:37,670 that I put on to entertain the vending machines. 338 00:12:37,750 --> 00:12:39,850 Are you musical, Kryten? 339 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:42,250 Sometimes he hums when he's vaccing. 340 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:43,560 Musical? No, Butler. 341 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:46,480 But it's long something I've intended to take up. 342 00:12:46,550 --> 00:12:47,940 Concerto. 343 00:12:47,940 --> 00:12:50,160 The etymology is fascinating. 344 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,290 It's the conjunction of concerere, meaning to join, 345 00:12:53,300 --> 00:12:54,900 and certame; to fight. 346 00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:55,400 The idea is that the two parts of the concerto, and certame; to fight. 347 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,510 The idea is that the two parts of the concerto, 348 00:12:57,510 --> 00:12:59,500 the soloist and the orchestra, 349 00:12:59,560 --> 00:13:02,600 alternate episodes of opposition and cooperation 350 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,490 and the creation of the music flow. 351 00:13:04,490 --> 00:13:05,550 Uh, this floor - 352 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:06,980 am I right in thinking you've used 353 00:13:06,980 --> 00:13:09,310 our old friend Piny-Shine with its 354 00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:12,110 famed protective coating and anti-slip finish? 355 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:14,480 I must confess I don't recall. 356 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:17,840 I've been rather distracted lately finishing my latest novel. 357 00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:18,670 Reading? 358 00:13:18,670 --> 00:13:19,390 Writing. 359 00:13:19,390 --> 00:13:20,260 Splendid. 360 00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:20,760 What's it about? Splendid. 361 00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:21,580 What's it about? 362 00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:24,050 It delineates the events surrounding the droid 363 00:13:24,050 --> 00:13:27,860 uprising and invasion of Callisto back in the late 22nd century, 364 00:13:27,870 --> 00:13:31,280 and the impact the uprising has on lunar society, 365 00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:34,610 as seen through the eyes of five privileged human families. 366 00:13:37,790 --> 00:13:39,040 Do you write, Kryten? 367 00:13:39,050 --> 00:13:40,740 Shopping lists, laundry lists. 368 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:42,430 That midnight oil hardly gets a breather! 369 00:13:42,430 --> 00:13:42,930 Rimmer. That midnight oil hardly gets a breather! 370 00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:43,380 Rimmer. 371 00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:45,650 Incidentally, if any of you have any diseases, 372 00:13:45,650 --> 00:13:47,590 I most probably have an antidote. 373 00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:50,020 Breakthrough medical cures is a hobby of mine. 374 00:13:50,020 --> 00:13:51,890 Do you dabble in medical science? 375 00:13:51,890 --> 00:13:53,810 He's got a beltin' cure for hiccoughs. 376 00:13:53,810 --> 00:13:55,060 Yeah. You drink a glass of water 377 00:13:55,060 --> 00:13:57,000 through a straw while sticking your fingers in your ears. 378 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,750 No, no, no - it so works! 379 00:13:58,750 --> 00:14:01,110 We're expecting the Nobel Prize for Medicine 380 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,230 through the cargo bay door any day now. 381 00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,750 Before I show you the rest of my ship, 382 00:14:05,750 --> 00:14:07,660 I have to make one thing very clear; 383 00:14:07,670 --> 00:14:10,180 I have no intention of ever leaving the Nova 3. 384 00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:13,030 My only captain now is my own muse. 385 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:15,390 You will join us for the day though, surely. 386 00:14:15,390 --> 00:14:16,180 My pleasure. 387 00:14:16,180 --> 00:14:17,050 Rimmer, 388 00:14:17,050 --> 00:14:18,760 Have you seen this painting here? 389 00:14:21,020 --> 00:14:22,770 How is this helping Kryten? 390 00:14:22,770 --> 00:14:23,270 Forget Kryten! How is this helping Kryten? 391 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:24,130 Forget Kryten! 392 00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:25,860 If we can make Butler change his mind, 393 00:14:25,860 --> 00:14:29,190 this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to update our mech! 394 00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:30,510 What? Get rid of Kryten? 395 00:14:30,510 --> 00:14:32,060 Oh, we'll keep him for the cleaning. 396 00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:34,650 Let Butler take care of the science. 397 00:14:45,130 --> 00:14:46,950 I've only had a perfunctory look, 398 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,180 but I think I can rather help expand your EM booster circuits. 399 00:14:50,180 --> 00:14:52,450 Well sadly that won't be possible, Butler. 400 00:14:52,450 --> 00:14:54,510 We simply cannot afford to have Starbug 401 00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:56,460 out of commission for any length of time. 402 00:14:57,060 --> 00:14:58,850 There. Done. 403 00:15:02,130 --> 00:15:03,450 Hang on, what's this?! 404 00:15:03,450 --> 00:15:04,890 The blinking machine's gone full-on red blinky! 405 00:15:04,890 --> 00:15:05,390 GELF gunships - 6 of them. Coming in at 210 mark 4. The blinking machine's gone full-on red blinky! 406 00:15:05,390 --> 00:15:08,270 GELF gunships - 6 of them. Coming in at 210 mark 4. 407 00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,360 60 seconds to intercept. 408 00:15:14,360 --> 00:15:16,330 Coming in both fore and starboard sides! 409 00:15:16,330 --> 00:15:19,070 They're stabilizing! Preparing to lock on! 410 00:15:19,070 --> 00:15:20,140 Suggestions?! 411 00:15:20,140 --> 00:15:22,050 Reroute power to the fusion boosters. 412 00:15:22,050 --> 00:15:23,120 Try and outrun them. 413 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,910 Okay, spinning up engines one, drive two! 414 00:15:25,910 --> 00:15:27,820 I don't mean to interfere but if you do that, 415 00:15:27,820 --> 00:15:29,660 won't the gunships simply take advantage 416 00:15:29,660 --> 00:15:32,260 of the open drives and electro-jam the engine? 417 00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:36,090 They've electro-jammed our engines! 418 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:37,400 They're locking on! 419 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:38,670 Incoming. 420 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:42,840 Prepare yourself to die! 421 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,400 Human ship of scum. 422 00:15:47,110 --> 00:15:49,930 Equahecte, is that you?! 423 00:15:51,260 --> 00:15:52,780 Butler?! 424 00:15:55,360 --> 00:15:56,870 Ah, ha-ha-ha! 425 00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:57,460 Ha-ha! 426 00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:07,610 You two know each other? 427 00:16:07,610 --> 00:16:09,580 I'm his daughter's godfather. 428 00:16:09,580 --> 00:16:11,460 It was Equahecte's way of thanking me 429 00:16:11,460 --> 00:16:12,630 after I helped his sick tribe. 430 00:16:12,630 --> 00:16:13,130 My tribe avoid big death after I helped his sick tribe. 431 00:16:13,130 --> 00:16:15,050 My tribe avoid big death 432 00:16:15,050 --> 00:16:18,540 when Butler make skin demons flee. 433 00:16:18,550 --> 00:16:19,970 My pleasure. 434 00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:23,180 And I still treasure the GELFberry wine you gave me. 435 00:16:23,180 --> 00:16:25,150 Best weed killer I've ever had! 436 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,920 My freesia and alders absolutely love it. 437 00:16:31,860 --> 00:16:33,220 You're too kind! 438 00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:36,560 Equahecte's promised to safely escort us back to Red Dwarf 439 00:16:36,590 --> 00:16:37,740 We must thank him. 440 00:16:37,740 --> 00:16:40,870 On behalf of all the Red Dwarf crew, let me say 441 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,370 Actually Kryten, it's: 442 00:16:48,370 --> 00:16:48,870 Here, say it with me. Actually Kryten, it's: 443 00:16:48,870 --> 00:16:49,870 Here, say it with me. 444 00:16:49,870 --> 00:16:52,700 Maghhh. Mahhh. No, it's-it's in the throat. 445 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:56,320 Maghh. Mahh. No. Maghh. Mahh 446 00:16:56,330 --> 00:17:04,090 Maghh, Mahh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh 447 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:05,230 That's it! 448 00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:14,210 Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh! Maghh 449 00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:14,710 Yeah, let's say it's quite close. Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh, Maghh! Maghh 450 00:17:14,710 --> 00:17:16,270 Yeah, let's say it's quite close. 451 00:17:16,270 --> 00:17:19,050 The Sakken Yakko dialect's a little trickier to master 452 00:17:19,050 --> 00:17:20,360 than the Kinitawowi. 453 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,400 Later, I'd be happy to go over with with you. 454 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:24,410 That would be most useful. 455 00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,510 Oh, I forgot to ask, 456 00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:29,880 Equahecte, how's Baknaknigahf? 457 00:17:36,060 --> 00:17:38,210 His father is dying of fever. 458 00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:39,260 Oh, do you have a cure, Butler? 459 00:17:39,260 --> 00:17:39,750 Possibly. It's hard to say without seeing him. Oh, do you have a cure, Butler? 460 00:17:39,750 --> 00:17:41,640 Possibly. It's hard to say without seeing him. 461 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,420 Well then you must go. Go, begone and go! 462 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,550 They'll teleport me aboard their ship 463 00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,630 and then afterwards return me to the Nova 3. 464 00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:56,400 I must bid you farewell. 465 00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:59,840 Perhaps we could get together sometime soon? 466 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,840 I have the Nova 3's handshake 467 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,810 frequencies written right here, Sir. 468 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:04,740 Good luck, my friends. 469 00:18:04,740 --> 00:18:05,260 And may every day bring us each a little more wisdom. Good luck, my friends. 470 00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:07,780 And may every day bring us each a little more wisdom. 471 00:18:24,540 --> 00:18:26,020 Hey! 472 00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:27,580 It's my watch. 473 00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:30,140 No need Sir. I'm happy to do it. 474 00:18:30,140 --> 00:18:31,540 How ya doin'? 475 00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:34,860 I'd just liked to have been better than Butler at something. 476 00:18:34,860 --> 00:18:38,100 Just one small, tiny, itsy-bitty thing. 477 00:18:38,300 --> 00:18:39,600 I had a mid-life crisis once. 478 00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:40,100 You didn't say. I had a mid-life crisis once. 479 00:18:40,100 --> 00:18:41,080 You didn't say. 480 00:18:41,080 --> 00:18:43,400 Yeah, it was about 3 years ago. 481 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:46,120 Had all the classic symptoms. First, I denied it. 482 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:47,800 Then I got angry. 483 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,760 Then I started thinking about missed opportunities, 484 00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:52,240 then I got depressed. 485 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:55,000 And then finally, I accepted it. 486 00:18:55,480 --> 00:18:56,940 How long did this whole thing last, Sir? 487 00:18:56,940 --> 00:18:57,440 About 5 minutes. How long did this whole thing last, Sir? 488 00:18:57,440 --> 00:18:58,500 About 5 minutes. 489 00:19:00,020 --> 00:19:01,660 5 minutes?! 490 00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:03,140 Yeah, I just thought: 491 00:19:03,140 --> 00:19:05,380 "Dave, you're getting older. Move on!" 492 00:19:05,380 --> 00:19:06,260 Just like that?! 493 00:19:06,260 --> 00:19:08,020 That's how you have a mid-life crisis 494 00:19:08,020 --> 00:19:09,220 in the North, Krytes! 495 00:19:09,220 --> 00:19:11,300 Bish, Bosch, done. 496 00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,220 You don't toss about. 497 00:19:13,220 --> 00:19:14,900 I wish I could be the same, Sir. 498 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:16,220 But I just can't. 499 00:19:16,220 --> 00:19:18,820 Things didn't exactly go to plan back there, did they? 500 00:19:18,860 --> 00:19:20,380 It really brought home to me 501 00:19:20,380 --> 00:19:22,900 what a wretched failure my whole life has been. 502 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,260 Butler is several generations before me, 503 00:19:25,260 --> 00:19:28,100 and yet he's done so much more with what he's been given. 504 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:29,620 Whoa! 505 00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,180 What the smeg was that?! 506 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:34,940 It's the EM boosters. Of course! 507 00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,040 Butler, the damn fool, 508 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:36,540 He didn't realize, that unlike the Nova 3, Butler, the damn fool, 509 00:19:36,540 --> 00:19:38,320 He didn't realize, that unlike the Nova 3, 510 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,000 all our boards have universal linkage! 511 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000 Meaning?! 512 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,040 The engines are gonna burnout, Sir. 513 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:46,320 He'll look utterly stupid! 514 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,360 So does that mean we're gonna crash? 515 00:19:48,360 --> 00:19:50,280 How stupid is he gonna look then! 516 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,240 Yeah, but say we die! 517 00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:53,600 Even better! 518 00:19:54,360 --> 00:19:57,040 Is there no way we can land and repair?! 519 00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:57,680 Well, we could. 520 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:59,400 But why should we help Butler out? 521 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:01,240 Kryten!! 522 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,900 Oh, my jealousy chip's overloading, Sir! 523 00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:05,820 Return to sane mode. 524 00:20:05,820 --> 00:20:06,820 Of course we should land. 525 00:20:06,820 --> 00:20:07,860 Where? 526 00:20:07,860 --> 00:20:10,460 Anywhere before the whole board is affected. 527 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:12,660 Turning all power off now. 528 00:20:12,660 --> 00:20:14,540 Couldn't we make it back to Red Dwarf?! 529 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,020 Too many course adjustments. 530 00:20:16,020 --> 00:20:19,020 We need to find somewhere along our present line of velocity. 531 00:20:19,020 --> 00:20:20,020 Okay. 532 00:20:20,020 --> 00:20:22,820 Scanning. Scanning. 533 00:20:22,820 --> 00:20:25,020 Scanning. There! 534 00:20:25,020 --> 00:20:27,780 It's about 9 hours from here. We can make it! 535 00:20:27,780 --> 00:20:29,500 Look, take over. 536 00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,060 I'll go tell the others! 537 00:20:31,060 --> 00:20:33,740 And don't forget to tell them whose fault it was! 538 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,560 Perhaps I'm gonna give you a call after all! 539 00:20:55,280 --> 00:20:56,840 This is perfect! 540 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:00,240 All we need is a power source to setup the adjustment array. 541 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,880 SIU? What's that? 542 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,960 The Search for an Intelligent Universe. 543 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,080 This must have been the missing space station 544 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,240 the Nova 3 was looking for. 545 00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:10,800 The universe, so some scientists believe, 546 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:12,800 is a living entity. 547 00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,180 So they built a space station to communicate with it? 548 00:21:15,180 --> 00:21:15,680 No doubt armed with Rizlas the length of ski bags. So they built a space station to communicate with it? 549 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,700 No doubt armed with Rizlas the length of ski bags. 550 00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:22,220 Well, judging by a cursory glance through the crew files, Sir, 551 00:21:22,220 --> 00:21:25,580 they all appear to be leading pioneers in their fields. 552 00:21:25,580 --> 00:21:28,860 And I think we all know what was growing in their fields. 553 00:21:28,860 --> 00:21:31,020 Did any communication ever take place 554 00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:32,620 between the scientists and the universe? 555 00:21:32,620 --> 00:21:33,860 It appears not. 556 00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:35,660 Maybe they called and the universe was out? 557 00:21:35,660 --> 00:21:39,660 More likely, the scientists were long dead before the computers 558 00:21:39,660 --> 00:21:42,120 their billions of calibrations. 559 00:21:42,120 --> 00:21:42,620 Look at that. It's like call waiting. their billions of calibrations. 560 00:21:42,620 --> 00:21:44,640 Look at that. It's like call waiting. 561 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,200 It appears as if the universe is on hold, Sir. 562 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,720 No way has it been waiting all this time. 563 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,560 It's going to be seriously smegged off. 564 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,040 Not as smegged off as Butler 565 00:21:54,040 --> 00:21:55,600 when he finds out what we've discovered! 566 00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,000 Leave this to me. 567 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,960 Hello. Is there anyone there? 568 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,760 Yes. I am here. 569 00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,240 To whom as I speaking, please? 570 00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:10,180 I am the entity known to you as 571 00:22:10,180 --> 00:22:10,680 The Universe. I am the entity known to you as 572 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:11,860 The Universe. 573 00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:13,660 Ah, Mr. Universe, Sir. 574 00:22:13,660 --> 00:22:15,380 It's not "Mr. Universe", Rimmer. 575 00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:18,340 That's some geezer with pecs and a posin' pouch. 576 00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,300 Ask him the meaning of life. 577 00:22:20,300 --> 00:22:21,660 Hang on. 578 00:22:21,740 --> 00:22:26,140 How can we know for certain that you are, indeed, THE universe? 579 00:22:26,140 --> 00:22:28,340 I am the universe. 580 00:22:28,340 --> 00:22:29,940 I am everything. 581 00:22:29,940 --> 00:22:33,140 I am the entire contents of space. 582 00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:35,820 I am all matter and energy. 583 00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:37,540 I am time. 584 00:22:37,540 --> 00:22:40,980 I am the totality of all existence. 585 00:22:40,980 --> 00:22:42,480 Says you. 586 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:42,540 But can you prove it? Says you. 587 00:22:42,540 --> 00:22:43,920 But can you prove it? 588 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,520 What are you asking for, Rimmer? 589 00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:46,760 A utility bill? 590 00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:49,960 Photo ID? A spend-and-save card? 591 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:51,960 Look. Let me take over. 592 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:53,480 For you, Kryten. 593 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:54,280 You're up. 594 00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,400 Sir? 595 00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,640 All your worries about the big burst, 596 00:22:57,640 --> 00:23:00,080 the meaning of life - now's your chance. 597 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,840 Ask the Universe. 598 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:03,500 Perhaps you can help, Sir. 599 00:23:03,500 --> 00:23:03,880 I've been struggling of late Perhaps you can help, Sir. 600 00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:04,980 I've been struggling of late 601 00:23:04,980 --> 00:23:07,620 to comprehend the point of existence. 602 00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:09,380 Explain. 603 00:23:09,380 --> 00:23:12,940 Well, if you're going to die in 14 billion years' time, 604 00:23:12,940 --> 00:23:14,380 what's the point in anything? 605 00:23:14,380 --> 00:23:17,140 Wait. I'm gonna die?! 606 00:23:18,660 --> 00:23:20,220 Oh, yes. 607 00:23:20,220 --> 00:23:23,420 Wh... in just 14 billion years' time?! 608 00:23:23,420 --> 00:23:25,700 I'm halfway through my life, then. 609 00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:28,940 No wonder I'm not as hot as I once was. 610 00:23:28,940 --> 00:23:31,660 No wonder I'm expanding exponentially. 611 00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:36,460 You've just sent the universe into a full-on mid-life crisis. 612 00:23:36,780 --> 00:23:37,240 Oh my! 613 00:23:37,240 --> 00:23:37,740 Halfway through my life, Oh my! 614 00:23:37,740 --> 00:23:39,040 Halfway through my life, 615 00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:40,440 and I've only ever created 616 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,560 one lousy, stupid planet with intelligent life. 617 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:45,480 And that's debatable. 618 00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,720 What have I've been doing all this time? 619 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,640 Making life from nothing is really rather tricky, Sir. 620 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:53,840 You've done rather well! 621 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:54,400 Wait. 622 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:57,160 If - if I die and I leave nothing behind, 623 00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,960 my life has no meaning. 624 00:23:58,960 --> 00:24:00,960 And existence is senseless. 625 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,280 Ain't that right? 626 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:03,360 No! 627 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:04,440 No? 628 00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,000 I've been thinking about this. 629 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,280 If you created in the universe, 630 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:09,860 then you must have created love. 631 00:24:09,860 --> 00:24:10,360 And it strikes me that there may be no God, then you must have created love. 632 00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:12,140 And it strikes me that there may be no God, 633 00:24:12,140 --> 00:24:14,100 and no afterlife, no one knows. 634 00:24:14,100 --> 00:24:16,260 But we do know love exists. 635 00:24:16,260 --> 00:24:19,660 And if it does, then life has meaning. 636 00:24:20,180 --> 00:24:22,260 Let's hear it for the universe! 637 00:24:22,260 --> 00:24:23,540 Great job, Guy! 638 00:24:23,540 --> 00:24:25,780 That's very kind. Thank you. 639 00:24:25,780 --> 00:24:28,460 I must confess, I feel a whole lot better. 640 00:24:28,460 --> 00:24:29,940 So do I! 641 00:24:29,940 --> 00:24:32,300 Is there any advice you can give us before we jog on? 642 00:24:32,300 --> 00:24:32,560 Yes. 643 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:33,060 What? Yes. 644 00:24:33,060 --> 00:24:33,200 What? 645 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,960 Kryten, take off that suit. It really sucks. 646 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,440 What a very strange day. 647 00:24:44,440 --> 00:24:46,440 Strange, but reassuring. 648 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,840 I realize now, we're all in the same boat. 649 00:24:48,840 --> 00:24:50,200 Even the universe. 650 00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:51,960 And even though the boat has a hole in it, 651 00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,200 at least we get to see the sea! 652 00:25:01,700 --> 00:25:03,260 Butler, it's Kryten. 653 00:25:03,260 --> 00:25:06,220 I'm calling to say "Hi" and thank you for today. 654 00:25:06,220 --> 00:25:07,620 Ha! Not at all. 655 00:25:07,620 --> 00:25:09,820 Incidentally, when we left you, 656 00:25:09,820 --> 00:25:12,020 we stumbled across a space station. 657 00:25:12,020 --> 00:25:13,580 And the most incredible thing, 658 00:25:13,580 --> 00:25:16,700 it turned out to be the space station you were looking for, 659 00:25:16,700 --> 00:25:17,740 and guess what!! 660 00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:20,180 We actually talked to the universe. 661 00:25:20,180 --> 00:25:22,100 The actual universe itself. 662 00:25:22,100 --> 00:25:24,180 What do you make of that? 663 00:25:25,300 --> 00:25:27,220 Oh, you know the universe? 664 00:25:27,780 --> 00:25:29,700 You call him Uni? 665 00:25:29,780 --> 00:25:33,660 You purposely expanded our EM circuits so I'd meet him?! 666 00:25:33,660 --> 00:25:36,740 You thought it might help me?! 667 00:25:36,780 --> 00:25:39,380 You have him on speed dial!?